How to Really Listen to Your Wife

Listening is one of the most important aspects of a successful relationship. It is impossible to satisfy someones needs when you don't know what they are. Being an attentive listener will help you grow as a couple, and grow closer. I know that you listen to your wife all of the time, but do you hear her? You listen to her ask you to pick up some ice cream after work, and to take out the trash. But if you want her to ask you to come a little closer, or ask more often, you will definitely want to pay a little more attention to what she is really saying through out the day.

• Focus Solely on Her

Shut off the TV, radio, etc. Give her your undivided attention. It sounds easy, but how often do you get distracted because the game is on, a good song is on the radio, or because there is a '69 Chevelle SS cruising down the street?

• Repeat Back to Her Key Points of the Discussion

Women think and react differently than men. Listening is no different. Let her know that you were listening to her, and care about what she is saying. Get excited with her and show emotion (just a little, it's okay). Ensure your sincerity though, you don't want it to appear that you were just listening for your own ulterior motives.

• Listening Means Shut Your Mouth

She is trying to share her day with you. How can she do so if you keep interrupting her? Shut up and let her talk! You do want to repeat back the key points of discussion every so often, but keep it simple. If she wanted your advice she would have asked for it, or sought professional help from her girlfriends. Don't let her believe that you don't think that she is capable of making her own decisions. 

• Don't Be a Jerk

Do not belittle her, or make her feel she is wrong. Don't tell her that she has skewed her view, or that you know better and then leave the conversation there. Your goal is to have a pleasant conversation with the intent of opening up your relationship, not closing the doors in it.

If you must disagree, then disagree. But disagree in respectful manner by being fair and ensuring that both sides have a fair hearing. Once the conversation is clearly over don't open your mouth just so you get the final say because she talked for a minute longer than you did.